I was in a celebratory mood. Tonight was the first time since quarantine I was going out to eat, so grateful to be given this reprieve.
My friend and I were chatting amicably. Then the conversation veered to a mutual friend of ours. My friend insisted that I needed to contact our mutual friend and demand that she stop posting on FB when she was afraid because social media would amplify that which was already rampant.
One important detail here is that all three of us live in the same building; all three of us are friends, albeit new friends to me. Also, we live one block away from the police station, which was on high alert due to the murder of George Floyd. We had helicopters flying overhead 24/7 and sometimes so low that it shook the building. Police were stationed five deep on the corners around our building, making the situation even more intense.
Yet, I did not feel it was my place to tell a grown woman what to post on her social media platform and clearly stated so.
What ensued next truly shocked me. My dinner companion told me not only once, but twice that my inaction in this situation was equal to me having my knee on George Floyd's neck because I would not intervene. I was genuinely stunned at the intensity of her accusations and bullying and our conversation became very heated.
I regrouped and told her that I appreciate her passion, but I would not be interfering. Her intensity increased until I said it was time to go. As we walked home, she was still carrying on until I said ever so softly...
Why don't YOU tell her if it's so important to you?
Honestly, it was as if she had never thought of that before, and because I said it so quietly, she was able to hear me.
Upon returning home, I jumped in the shower to clear all the energy she threw at me that evening.
What's the takeaway?
No matter how intense the bullying is, you can stand your ground in love and presence. I lost my temper, but in the end, I regained my composure and stood in my truth. I made my point, and it was time to leave it alone. It is her journey, her issue, not mine.
A few days later, she texted me, then again and again, until she came out and asked me if I was angry because I was not responding. Wow, this nightmare never ends.I thought about it for a bit, and I told her that our paths have taken different directions at this time and that I wish her well.
What a relief! But what's important to know is that I used to be a doormat, and she would have had me jumping and contacting our mutual friend, BUT I DIDN'T!
Stay true to you! Don't be bullied! Tune in to your gut, continue to listen, and don't waver from there.
If I can do it, so can you!!!!! It's been a journey, but it's SO worth it! You know better than anyone else what is right for you. Listen, run the information by your inner wisdom, then decide. Don't feel pressured, do it on YOUR time frame.
You can still honor another while staying true to you. You've GOT this!!!!!
dōTERRA essential oil to support you on your journey: Calmer
Calmer speaks right to the heart as it calms and soothe when you're feeling upset and worried. It is comforting during times of high stress reminding us that everything is going to be ok, this too shall pass.
This Is Me from The Greatest Showman